" i don't want to be myself anymore "
I really don't. In fact, i kindof hate myself. I have really bad attitude. I talk to myself, i'm really dumb. Im fat. I don't have self discipline. There's definitely more flaws to mention but i don't wanna take up like 1hr of your time to just read my flaws lol. I don't know how people can look at me and still be my friend, hahah. Or maybe their just pretending, but whatever. Bc one day i'm still gonna die right.
" And if you wake up at 4am either your loved, or lonely "
I really don't know which is worst. But i think i'm just lonely. I mean either then my family who else would love me, right ? If i died right now, probably nobody would even notice or give a damn.
" People ask me why is it so hard to trust people, i ask them why is it so hard to keep a promise ? "
I read this, and i realised how true this was. I've nothing to say, and all i felt was guilt. I've no right to tell that to others because i myself let secrets slip sometimes. Is it just my nature ? Sigh.
And then, i saw this picture ;
I can totally relate to this, i'm sure like many could relate to this. But for me, not only that, i shut all the others out too, like just for that moment i'm upset. But no one notices because they can't see. All they see are merely text messages with or without emojis. Sometimes i say things like i don't wanna talk , but they don't know the reason why. But i also don't wish to tell them. Im crazy ok thanks . Hahah.
" it gets better "
When?
" i'm here for you "
Bullshit
" you'll be okay "
No i won't
" its okay "
No its not
I'm sick and tired of hearing the same old things, seeing people tell that to others. Because their just lies. " its okay " ? Do you even know what i'm going through or how i feel ? no. " it gets better " how do you know ? Your not a fortune teller ..
Some of you or maybe all of you, well whoever's reading this. You might think ' you post this for what? lol. Boliao ah ' or ' you think you know everything ah. ' or whatever. But its MY blog, and i'll post what i want. I'm not saying i understand or know everything, as i've mentioned before - i'm dumb. Its up to you how you wanna think, and if you don't like me or my blog or this post you can just close the page :-) thanks .
Okay, so continuing. Don't ask ' what happened ' or whatever. Because nothing really happened its just my overview of my life. Okay maybe not ? Idk. Hmmm.
i like to ignore, push people away and just lock them out. But i've always hoped, that just like on tumblr, in movies, in story books or fantasies... That someone will just hug me tight and comfort me. HAHAHAHA. Im sorry, hoping for something will never come true. Its nice to still have hope though :') hahah.
I see so many tweets and posts saying ' no one really cares until something dramatic happens ' and its true, isn't it? We don't know what some people are going through and it takes time and effort to slowly get to know them, to become friends with them and share the burden :) but if we don't even try or make an effort, who knows whats gonna happen.
and if someone ever shares with you their problem, seriously, don't judge them. Instead, listen to them and try to understand, give them a hug and let them know that you'll go through it with them :-)
