De - pres - sion

Recently, i've been doing lots and lots of thinking. And it wasn't a good thing, cause i really hate thinking, its so tiring. LOL. 

" i don't want to be myself anymore "

I really don't. In fact, i kindof hate myself. I have really bad attitude. I talk to myself, i'm really dumb. Im fat. I don't have self discipline. There's definitely more flaws to mention but i don't wanna take up like 1hr of your time to just read my flaws lol. I don't know how people can look at me and still be my friend, hahah. Or maybe their just pretending, but whatever. Bc one day i'm still gonna die right.

" And if you wake up at 4am either your loved, or lonely " 

I really don't know which is worst. But i think i'm just lonely. I mean either then my family who else would love me, right ? If i died right now, probably nobody would even notice or give a damn. 

" People ask me why is it so hard to trust people, i ask them why is it so hard to keep a promise ? "

I read this, and i realised how true this was. I've nothing to say, and all i felt was guilt. I've no right to tell that to others because i myself let secrets slip sometimes. Is it just my nature ? Sigh.

And then, i saw this picture ;

I can totally relate to this, i'm sure like many could relate to this. But for me, not only that, i shut all the others out too, like just for that moment i'm upset. But no one notices because they can't see. All they see are merely text messages with or without emojis. Sometimes i say things like i don't wanna talk , but they don't know the reason why. But i also don't wish to tell them. Im crazy ok thanks . Hahah.

" it gets better "

When?

" i'm here for you "

Bullshit

" you'll be okay "

No i won't

" its okay "

No its not

I'm sick and tired of hearing the same old things, seeing people tell that to others. Because their just lies. " its okay " ? Do you even know what i'm going through or how i feel ? no. " it gets better " how do you know ? Your not a fortune teller .. 

Some of you or maybe all of you, well whoever's reading this. You might think ' you post this for what? lol. Boliao ah ' or ' you think you know everything ah. ' or whatever. But its MY blog, and i'll post what i want. I'm not saying i understand or know everything, as i've mentioned before - i'm dumb. Its up to you how you wanna think, and if you don't like me or my blog or this post you can just close the page :-) thanks .

Okay, so continuing. Don't ask ' what happened ' or whatever. Because nothing really happened its just my overview of my life. Okay maybe not ? Idk. Hmmm. 

i like to ignore, push people away and just lock them out. But i've always hoped, that just like on tumblr, in movies, in story books or fantasies... That someone will just hug me tight and comfort me. HAHAHAHA. Im sorry, hoping for something will never come true. Its nice to still have hope though :') hahah. 

I see so many tweets and posts saying ' no one really cares until something dramatic happens ' and its true, isn't it? We don't know what some people are going through and it takes time and effort to slowly get to know them, to become friends with them and share the burden :) but if we don't even try or make an effort, who knows whats gonna happen. 

and if someone ever shares with you their problem, seriously, don't judge them. Instead, listen to them and try to understand, give them a hug and let them know that you'll go through it with them :-) 

Introducing shadow 23

Heyheyhey everyone :-)

so my friends and i started our own crew - Shadows 23. We're doing kpop covers thou :b yup, and we've been working on our first cover give it to me by SISTAR and are finally done !! Here's the link to our vid ; http://youtu.be/FclCWGmaOp0 be sure to check out the video, comment on what we can improve on and subscribe * winks * 

Heheh thanks :b 

- Shadows 

Open house

Hello :-) 

Okay, so today is my school's open house, and its also my first time performing w the school's dance club !! Heheh. Really had lots of fun dancing with them. Even though i still have no guts to talk to most of them, they are really nice and funny people :b heheh, we danced to P!NK's Just give me a reason. 

It was a fun experience, and i look forward to future performances. When i first join dance i kind of regret * laughs * cause i didn't really know anyone and stuff. But now like even though i still don't talk / know ALOT like 3/4 of them, i still love it. Hurhurhur. 

And i got Hannah to help me do foundation cause i fail at putting it on myself * failure face * then the rest of the makeup was done for me by the other seniors ( THANKYOU :-) ) yupz. 

SO , PICTURE TIME :)

Okay, i would show you the video but i'm using my phone to update, so idk how to add in the video. Oops heheh. Okays. So after the thing was over when under shiqi's block to practice for our cover with Shadows, my 'crew' sort of (?) heheh. Then when to arcade to play PIU. YAAAAYYY. As usual PIU was fun like shit. Then went home then blahblahblah ok done hurhurhur.

OKAY THANKZ FOR READING BYEBYE NOW 

3/5 Lee Tour yo

Okay, so you prolly don't know what's lee tour. Its my P6 clique :-) we were all like siblings hahah. Went out with 2 of them today - Teresha and Jansen !! Had super loads of fun , but it was tiring too ._. 

   Okay , so we met up and went to SPCA for like an hour ? The animals wete adorbz as usual. I was kind of disappointed though .. I saw Ida there again. She's a dog who's been there for a really really long time, i don't know why nobody wants to adopt her. She's so friendly and tamed. Okay, so i went to play with her, and she peed while i was in the cage ._. LOL. Lucky not on me though. So this is here ;

Hahah. Then didn't go in the other cages cause i was afraid the dogs would either bite or scratch me or run out. >_< 

And then ofcourse there were cute othe doggies and rabbits and cats ;

Yupps, then after that we headed to NEX to lepak ^~^ ate TEXAS CHICKEN YO. I love texas chicken its good. Okay then walk walk walk. Went to the pet safari (?) i forgot whats the place name hahah, yup the doggies there are really cute too. Then walk walk walk again. Then bought starbucks :D shioooook. Then around 6 or 7+ we went back to bishan to slack. We slacked at the playground at j8 but jansen had to go home so ~~ 

Then had a nice long catch up chat with Teresha , after that camwhored a little , OHYEAAAH. And at NEX we also went to camwhore abit at challenger using their mac book the photobooth HAHAHA. Oky then we went to watsons and just tested makeup , and also to BHG to test makeup and nail polish hehehe. 

LOL. Life's good with friend's like them :-) yup. MORE PICTURESSSSS

Thats how we tested - on our hands HAHA. Okok thanks for reading buhbyeeee :-) 

Kickin off November yo

Waddup humans, how's your november going so far? :-) good ? heheh. Okay so, had class bbq on 1 Nov, last time together as 2A ... When i think about it, its kind of sad ): i mean even though this class always annoy and piss me off, we still had loads of great memories together. But yeah, its time to move on

Got some photos with them ;

Okay, so before class BBQ, i went to the gym with Renie and Michelle !! My first time going to a gym to workout LOL. It was kindof of fun, but awkward HAHAA. But yeah, i guessed it worked (?) my legs, my abs and my arms are kindof aching ): sigh, its okay :b then ITS STARTED RAINING REALLY HEAVILY .____. when we need to leave ... And there was lightning and thunder .. LIGHTNING .____. Om it was so scary , so glad i wasn't home alone. Okay, so then we ran to the MRT back to amk. Renie went home while Michelle followed me home to get something before going to the BBQ .

So the class BBQ. I guess about 1/4 didn't show up, but majority did and the BQQ so off the charts yo !! We ate, drank, laughed, camwhored, swim, talk? HAHAHA. Yeah. I tried to take photos with as many people as i could but i still took very few ._. Sian. Okay so here are the photos w my girls

And then the photos with my boys :-) 

Told'cha its little ...

Yup. Ms Goh came to pass us our class tee ( to those who where there earlier ) then left. Around 7.15 Mr Lui came then at 7.30 Ms Tan came ^~^ a bunch of us went down to fetch her !! AND SHE BROUGHT HER BUNNY :D her cutesie little bunny !! Heheh. 

Okay so more pics ~~

AND THEN LAST CLASS PHOTO, but ALOT ALOT of people not in the photo, cause we took it at the end of the BBQ >_<

Yup, then after that a bunch of us went to ton :-) SUPER FUN MAN. We helped Alvin bring all the stuff up, then slacked at his place for awhile. Then headed to Safra to bowl / play billiard !! I didn't bowl cause i didn't have enough cash though :/ but i played billiard , isaac and alvin taught me how :D but i still suck at it HAHAHA. Then went to northpoint, wanted to catch a midnight movie but afew of us not enough cash, so we went to starbucks play cards till 4.30am then all of us were like damn hungry so we went to mac :> YAY. Hahah damn fattening sia but YOLO lah horh. Then all of us couldn't tahan and there was no place to slack at so we took one of the first few bus home. On the bus, suddenly all of us like not tired alr LOL. but still physically tired. So i reached home at like 6.45am ? Then washed up, then slept till like 10 plus , nearly 11 :o  then i had to wake up and meet a friend to go for the 1D Our Moment launch at ION Sephora :D YAYYYY OMG i swear the perfume is great it smells wonderful too. I didn't get to win the ones BT was giving away and also i left halfway cause my legs were really aching :'( then i reached hone at about 4.45pm and rest for like 1.5hrs before i headed out again to meet Michelle and Gareth to go for EXTRAORDINARY :D its a dance performance, AND IT WAS AMAZING !! Its really your lost if you missed it . Yup, then went to slack awhile w Michelle and Weixian but didn't really enjoy cause like sian only. So i went home and now here i am blogging :-) hahahah. 

Halloween Horrors 3

HEY HEY HEY. 

Went to USS for Halloween Horrors 3 last night. Went with the bunch :-) we booked a hotel so we could ton. So we went to Sentosa quite early yesterday, then chilled in the room. Afterwhich we went to eat dinner !! Guess what. I FORGOT TO BRING THE FREAKING TICKETS. Michelle accompanied me back to get the tickets we rushed like mad. By the time we got back it was already 8.30pm. Wasted like 1h 30mins sigh. I feel so bad.  Okay then we went in and all that blah blah blah. There are scarers roaming at some parts of USS. To be honest, i think that they had too little scarers and they are not that scary. Maybe it's because of the them (?) yup, almost the whole night we roamed around, we didn't queue for the haunted house cause the queue was too long and we felt it was a waste of time. The first thing we did was watch the monster rock show at 9.15pm. As usual it was AMAZING :-) the numbers they did was the same but the theme and everything was different. Then we roamed around blahblahblah. Then we took the madagascar ride ( which was really lame ) , the revenge of the mummy and transformers. WE QUEUED FROM

12am to 12.50am for the damn transformers ride >:( when the sign stated that the waiting time was around 30mins. But yeah we had lots and lots of fun there . And i bought this really co drink that came in this packet ;

Cool eh. Hahahah. Its mango peach i think, the drink was a little too sweet though. Hmmm so the rest of the pics ---

Group photo outside monster rock theatre :-)

Um idk what this lady's suppose to be but she was randomly dancing >_<

This guy is kindof hot so :b HAHAHA

AND AND this cute vampire waiter. He was scaring people, but he's really nice :-)

2 different pictures w a werewolf and a vampire :D the vampire kindof played w me a little >_< hahahah. 

LAST BUT NOT LEAST, group photo w the main theme of this year's halloween horrors !! 

We left the place around 1.20am. All of us were whoooo , just dead tired man. The guys went to 7 11 to get some drinks before all of us headed back to the room to ton. 

Well, overall last night was really really really fun :> heheh. 

Okay lols. THANKS FOR READING BYEBYE NOW :-) 

Long Bus Rides

Ello :-) im back guysss !! Ok lol. Since i haven't posted in like a super long time, thought it was time to update ^~^ so yes, im on a bus going home now, its like an hour ride so ~~ when your on long bus rides and the bus is like empty is like a really nice time to just start thinking right? 

 Alot of things have been happening, firstly, EOYs coming -SIANNNN- gotta chiong man. My studies are really *fart sound effect* bad. Hopefully can get into true train , so i don't have to take N levels. Secondly, RIGHT NOW IS THE BLOODY F1 and i can't go, cause 1 i got no cash, 2 gotta study. Ugh Justin, Rihanna, Big Bang and The Killers are here in SG. Tonight, if i'm not wrong Rihanna's performing then tomorrow would be Justin. I wanna see Justin ): i'm like a small little belieber i guess (?) hehehe. I can't stand it when people make jokes about One Direction or Justin Bieber about them being "gay" , notice i put inverted commas , because its not true. Like hello do you even know the meaning of gay? It means that a guy has a crush on another guy. Stop it ok. Idc if you hate them or not, just bloody keep it to yourself. Ugh. 

Okay, then also i think K Wave is approaching, not sure when but yeahh. 

Holy shit its 7.18 im like late :O ohwell. 

Next, i think about life. i'm kinda lazy to type out because i think alot about life. 

And i wonder, i have this really good friend, Apple, we're both Taurus - Taruses are suppose to be really outgoing and confident, but i'm like the total opposite. I asked her about this just now - yes i went out with her - she showed me a tweet that says some people are selective in friends not that their shy. But i don't think i'm like that. I feel that if you talk to me, even though i'm like SUPER SUPER AWKWARD, 90% of time i'll try to make the effort to continue the convo, that is if your the one who starts it :3 i can be really talkative okay. Hehehe. But its a different case if i don't like you. I'll just totally try to shut you out. 

Omg i'm still not home Dx 

OOTD TODAY WITH APPLE

Yesyesyes, we took ootd in the toilet, judge all you want ok. 

We walked around taka and saw like this ice cream or gelato shop idk and their desert is REALLY NICE, i bought blueberry yogurt :DDD

Yes you should try it :-) then went to starbucks, bought Java Chip. Then went to Bugis cause she had to do something there, then went to Plaza Sing, when we walked pass Snuffle, a new shop beside Gelateria Italia ( oops sorry idk how to spell ) the employees offered to let us try cheescake and some chocolate cake from hokkaido, omg i swear it is damn nice, if i had enough cash i would have bought a box home <3 the cheescake is like really soft and just super super nice. The chocolate was heavenly :-) 

Thats kinda all. I guess. Im still on the bus , its 7.31pm. Sigh. Okay. Thanks for reading my lame post buhbye :* 

1D WORLD SINGAPORE

OMG OKAY SO TODAY 1D WORLD OFFICIALLY OPENED IN SINGAPORE, BUT, its only temporary ... The store will only be here till 2 Sept if i'm not wrong. But still, ITS HERE. In the whole of Asia, 1D World only came down to SG !! Which is AWESOME. Yes, so today since it was the opening, and since it was because of Boythunder that 1D World came down, they were there to give out posters and $800 worth of vouchers !! How amazing are they. And ofcourse since i went, took some pictures. This is what the store is selling -

Okay, sorry its so blur and crappy, it was really crowded and noisy >_< but yeah, most things are quite expensive. And most of the people that went expected the items to be around $20 like normal items. But its not, the cheapest item is $10 and the most expensive if i'm not wrong is the 1D Onesies ( something like a jumpsuit ) they also sell the collector's box which has a tote bag, posters and some keychains(?) i think i'm not so sure but i know it has 6 items for $30 !! Yup.

Then i arrived there around 4pm and left around 7pm :b i heard that BYE ( Before You Exit ) popped by earlier for awhile today. Oh yes, btw, the shop is at The Cathay, you alight at Doby Ghaut and exit from exit A, then when you come up the escalator you'll see this building called MDSI if i'm not wrong ._. Hahah. Something like that. Then cross the roads and BOOM your there :-) Okay, so i really enjoyed myself todayy ^~^ had super lots of fun talking to Kaiying, Jason ad Aida and BT and Adam, Josh couldn't be there as he was in the studios hostin their show which is now 4pm-6.30pm or 6pm IM NOT SURE but yup. So support them and listen cause you never know what might be up their sleeves :D 

NOW THE PICTURESSSSSS

Ohyeah, and Jianhao and Ridhwan came down too !!

I know i look crappy lol. It was really hot and i was kinda tired and also i was in half U so yeah :/  and ofcourse i took photos with the HOTFM St team, or at least i think they are cause i always see them :d hehehe. I love the pictures i took with them ALOT <3

Hahahahah, and i bombed it with overlays :3 the second one is with Aida , she's really cool and cute ^~^ hahah. Yup so i really had like loads of fun today. Tmrw got school .. Kind of a spoiler but whatever. I WANNA PLAY VOLLEYBALL OHYEAHH ~ hahah. Okay, thanks for reading :-) and i'll be updating soon if i remember too about my trip to Hong Kong with the family, so yupp !! 

Kthnxbai :>